The Art of Conversation

In the book I have been reading it indicates that the art of conversation died about 40 years ago.  I am not sure that is true. Yes, I agree that it is dying, but I think the timing is more like 30 years, not 40. I have wonderful conversations with my children who are over 30, and under 40.  At least, I think they are wonderful. I know it can be done.

I know that I am capable of a real conversation with most people. However, those colleagues I work with under 30 are another story.  I tend to avoid that lot; they cannot string a sentence together to save their lives.  That makes me wonder how the heck they mentor others.  I recall going to dinner with a group of colleagues to a very nice Thai restaurant in JB.  One obese member of our group insisted on having two chairs. I thought it was reasonable considering her size.  However, the second chair she felt she needed was for her laptop, which she promptly turned on, and tuned into when we were seated.  The only time she spoke to anyone was when she placed her food order.  Other than that, she was face to face with the screen of her laptop, doing whatever she needed to do. Another spark of fun tuned into her iPhone. She managed to read text messages, send messages, and otherwise be focused on that little bit of plastic and her Facebook friends.  Probably the most fascinating two were the ones that sat at opposite ends of the table and sent text messages, never making eye contact, to each other throughout the entire meal.  Three of us tried to have a conversation, and tried to include the deadbeats, to no avail.  The only thing that bunch was good for was consuming mountains of food and paying a small portion of the bill.  They were clever enough to order some kind of rice dish or small, cheap entree, and then slurp back everything on the table. One did not pony up because she said she was not hungry. However her appetite was tweaked when the food arrived.  Gnawing her way through the spread, she did a good job but contributed nothing in a conversation.  We did not have to worry about 'one last' item on a central plate. That bunch had no shyness about taking the last item, or for that matter, most of the items on the platters.  I tried several times to engage them in a conversation, but all I was rewarded with was a grunt, a slur, or a muttering of, I think words, that made no sense.  To get an idea of what they sounded like, try to recall the speaking parts for In The Heat of The Night. You are going to get about the same sounds I heard; if any.

So, to support the idea that the art of conversation died, I agree to a degree.  Those under 30 seem to have grown up with the inability to actually talk to each other. They are like a bad joke - they do nothing but text in short messages with each other, while sitting beside each other.  I guess that way you can actually hear them, and maybe even decipher what the heck they said. I wonder if they have ever tested the voice part of their cell phones?  I wonder if that is how they mentor as well?

Guess what?  We don't dine with them any longer.  And sadly, two of the over 30s have left the project, so I am short two real people in my life.

As for my mentees, they have figured out over here, that text messaging is the way to go.  I have tried to communicate with them via e-mail, and they constantly plead they cannot get internet. I accept this; my own internet is less than reliable.  So, I text message them. Does not good, they do not respond anyway. And you can forget phone calls all together.  So, what the heck are my mentees texting during a professional development session, when they should be engaged?  Probably some drivel to the person seated next to them.