Who Decides What Defines Bullying?

I have limited resources for western television.  One program I watch often is the Ellen Show.  I was disappointed with a guest she had on recently.  For some reason Ellen took it upon herself to reward some woman who is obese (defined by herself) all because she felt bullied by a viewer.  What the heck?  I never thought that a truth send with good intentions would be considered bullying.  What happened was this woman is some local television host. She is obese, yes.  A viewer e-mailed her (privately - not on air) and suggested that because she is a local celebrity it might be a good idea to consider what kind of an image she is promoting to her viewers. Keep in mind that she is obese by choice, not because of some medical condition. She was also told by her doctor that she is obese (by her own admission). Why does she not publicly flog him? I was able to read this viewer's e-mail online, and it was in no way a bullying stunt. In fact, the woman's husband who is also a media personality splashed this e-mail all over Facebook for others to see.   As far as I am concerned, her husband was the bully.That does not look like someone afraid of how they look.  Not sure of his size, but I am guessing it is comparable. That is not the issue. The issue is that the writer had written to her with compassion for others. Because they felt her presence in the public eye was sending a bad message to viewers plus the writer felt it was a suggestion for her to do something good for her own health.

How is that bullying?  I actually feel that the stance she and her husband took in this whole event were the bullies in spades. That writer was pushed into a corner and made to publicly apologize for saying she was obese. Why? She admits she is. I am very disappointed with Ellen as well. To reward a bully with a week long vacation at some luxury hotel has pushed her down a few notches in my opinion.

Yes, there is a problem with bullying in this world. Yes there has to be something to stop bullying. But figure out what bullying is before you open your cake-hole and damage others with good intentions in your path.  Off on another rant, I have lessened my viewing of her program because she seems to be having less than interesting guests these days. I also feel she is exploiting two little British girls who were cute once, but really quite annoying because Ellen has decided they are great representatives at Grammy Awards etc. These little girls have no base of reality in their lives because they have been exploited into an adult role in the media, but are only elementary school girls. Their lives are something you would expect to see in The National Enquirer. Sometimes some things get overdone, and this is a prime example of that. Let those little girls be little girls, and quit pushing them into something that is beyond their maturity. Crinolines and giggles are cute and funny once; maybe twice.  Maybe Ellen needs to go back to stand up comedy.  Or maybe there is an audience for her current show and I am not cut out for the role.  If so, I count my blessings to have the sense to know it and abstain.

We humans seem to find an excuse for every behaviour. If one wants to feel like a victim, then they are bullied. Yes, some people are bullied, but the term seems to be catching on like wildfire and being used for a plethora of reasons that are completely unreasonable in many cases. If one cannot socialize normally, they are OCD, ADHD, Aspergers, and the big one BESD, which umbrellas any kind of behavioural problem which apparently gives the person an excuse to be rude or otherwise.  In the past, I think all these medicated people just learned how to behave in many cases. Yes, there are mentally ill people in the world, but too many without mental illness would rather take a pill then try to be civilized.  Much easier.

Behavioural Emotional Social Disorder (BESD). I guess this gives one the excuse to be excused for their behaviour.  Nice.  No responsibility.  If that is the case, maybe that e-mail writer has BESD, so he really is not responsible for making the woman feel bullied. Right? Where do we draw the line?