Absolute drivel

I clearly have nothing intelligent to say but if you were here I would tell you this story. I have some sandals that cause the noise of foot farts.  Really.  I picked up a pair of birkenstock sandals a few months ago. I saw them outside the shop (OMG I am now saying shop) and these cute little Chinese men came scurrying over to me. They insisted I try them on. They were only RM 8 so I thought 'why not'.  Cheap, and good sandals. Well, they only had a size too big for me, and birskenstocks are always too wide for my princess feet. They were determined to sell them, so they punched holes into the straps about 5 or 6 times to make them fit my foot. I left with the crazy sandals, and treid them on at home. I looked like a clown, and they flopped every time I took a step. So, they sat outside my door until last week.  I finally brought them inside to deal with them. I took my new scissors and cut the straps off.  They didnt fit anyway and felt like the kind of boots you wear on the bottom of the ocean to stay down there. Neatly snipping the straps and trying to match the two shoes, I chipped away at the back end of them until they were fairly uniform. Well, TA DA, I did it, and now wear the darn things regularly. But, because the bed of the shoes are too big, and the temperature here is ALWAYS hot, when my princess foot hits the bed of the shoe one hears a sound much like a fart.  The other day Jeff was over here and I went to the kitchen to make tea, and lo and behold, the foot farts were active. Having visited me in the hosptial during my illnesses and knowing much about my digestive system while there again applauded me on my ability to produce gaseous noises. I finally had to walk past him a few times to assure him these were foot farts and not the other kind.
I told you it was drivel, but at least reading it you can stop. Had you been here, you would have heard the whole story like you just did if you are still reading.
Now to bed, with the super duper coveted antihistimines dispensed to me for a good nite pass out.

ciao and whatever other language you know